Dating, by definition, is temporary. It's ephemeral. Dating is a means to an end, not an end in itself.

However, when the topic is discussed popularly, it is rarely followed by a discussion of what end dating is meant to achieve.

We go on dates, tell our friends what bar we went to, what cocktails we drank… but we don’t talk about why we’re dating in the first place

This nonchalance, I believe, is why so many young people feel like victims of dating:

We blame the cities we live in for failing to host an adequate supply of serious suitors. We blame the dating apps we use for failing to engineer effective matchmaking algorithms. But we disregard our own failure to acknowledge what we truly want.

We’re bullsh!tting ourselves. 

Ask your single friends about their dating goals. Let me guess... They're in the market for someone who listens?  Someone with a higher EQ than their ex?

I’m not knocking those things. All well and good, but let’s cut through the fluff.

9.9 times out of 10, we want the same thing that millions of our ancestors also wanted — that which we are evolutionarily programmed to want:

Our deepest desire is to procreate — with the best possible mate, at the best possible reproductive date.

That’s why we hustle. 

Why we go to great schools with robust networks. 

Why we pursue great careers. 

Why we eat well and stay in the gym. 

We want to attract the most fit counterpart and start a family while we’re still young and fly.

The tragedy? Many of our peers won't consider this why until it is too late.

They swipe through their twenties chasing vibes, playlists, and passive compatibility.  By the time they are sufficiently frustrated, they'll be past their reproductive prime and forced to "settle down" with a less-than-ideal mate.

Not us. We know our Why.

About the author:

My name is Jack Money. I live in NYC. My philosophy is simple. In addition to our primordial drive to procreate, human beings are also driven by the desire the to help others procreate. Matchmaking is in our blood. And it's in our evolutionary best interest to do it at scale.