"You're too handsome to be tied down"

This advice came from a woman that I met last night at Soho House Meatpacking.

Her name started with an A, so I'll refer to her as Amy. She was with a friend who I'll call Monica.

I met Amy and Monica on the elevator ride up to the roof. I won the race to the only free table, so I felt compelled to invite them to join me while I waited for two of my boys.

Amy and Monica were friendly and talkative. I learned that Amy is chief of staff to the CEO of a hedge fund. 34 and single. Monica is an entertainment lawyer. 35 and recently married. The two were roommates when they first arrived in the city & years ago. They stayed close after moving on to their respective one-bedrooms in Williamsburg.

"OMG are you married?" Amy asked when she noticed the band on my left ring finger.

"HA! Not quite. I wear my Oura ring on this finger for aspirational purposes only. " I replied.

"Do you aspire to be married soon?" She asked.

"Of course! Don't you?"

My question prompted Amy to share her philosophy on life and marriage. In a nutshell, Amy is uninterested in starting a family for 3 reasons:

1. She doesn't want the obligation of a husband and a child to limit her freedom

2. She's pessimistic about the future. Feels it would be immoral to bring a child into a world that she expects to be "up in flames" within the next four years.

3. She thinks childbirth has overlooked consequences on the female body

Amy's most passionate message, however, was her advice to me and my boys (who finally arrived). She encouraged us not to blindly succumb to societal pressure to wed. Instead, she recommended that we take full advantage of the wide range of sexual experiences available to us in the city. She even encouraged my boy to consider breaking up with his girlfriend of 3 years.

"You're too handsome to be tied down," she told us.

I considered her advice. It's not unusual, but I've never heard it delivered with so much fervor. I asked myself what her motivation might be. Why would she encourage 3 young men to pursue maximum sexual conquest?

Amy was classically pretty. She had short blonde hair and high cheekbones. She wore a white tube top, light jeans and Adidas Superstars. Despite her aggressively casual outfit (sported like a true Brooklynite), I could tell she was a rockstar back in her prime.

Theoretically, if Amy had met one of us at 26, there's a chance she would be a wife and a mother by now. I wonder if by promoting singlehood, she subconsciously hoped to limit opportunities for other women to become young wives and mothers. This wouldn't make her a bad person, but an effective role player for #team-single.

The more single-minded we are as a culture, the more normal her circumstance, the more teammates she has, and the better she feels about her decisions. The more prime-minded we are as a culture, the more unpopular her circumstance, the fewer teammates she has, and the more she regrets her decisions. Can we blame her for playing hardball?

We are highly social beings. We are heavily influenced by the decisions of our peers. Is anyone out there rooting for #team-prime?

About the author:

My name is Jack Money. I live in NYC. My philosophy is simple. In addition to our primordial drive to procreate, human beings are also driven by the desire the to help others procreate. Matchmaking is in our blood. And it's in our evolutionary best interest to do it at scale.